Struck Down

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not adandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

Lately, I have been having a rough couple of weeks and to top off my rough weeks, I had a robery at my office 2 days ago during our lunch break and my wallet was stolen.

Logically, its not that huge of a deal, and honestly I have so much to be thankful for even in this situation, but honestly because I have already been going through hard and stretching times, my wallet being stolen was the last brick that needed to be placed on a tower of leaning bricks to strike me down.

I broke down yesterday for the first time since I have been in Austin. I believe truly that church planting is not easy. Its not easy because it takes a lot of time and sacrifice, but even more than that, its not easy cus theres just so much spiritual battle.

Its so ironic because I feel like the more I try and fight to overcome, the more battle that is placed my way and then to top it off situations will come at perfect moments to knock me down. Knock me down just enough to humble me, to cause me to lean upon God, to break me to the point of desperation, to desire to RUN, but not enough to actually allow me to quit.

I know logically that my wallet being stolen is easily replaced. I mean I have to change all my cards, I have to take the vehical exam again, I lost a good amount of cash, and theres a random man out there who knows my likes and dislikes, who has my photo identification and all of it disgusts me to know that this creep knows even pieces of who I am.

But after a day of being able to reflect upon God, to repent, and to internalize, I now have to pick back up and dust it all off and just move forward.

Yesterday a friend emailed this verse to me.

Do Not Forget the Lord

Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers. Remember how the LORD you God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so that the LORD your God dsciplines you. 

- Deuteronomy 8:1-5

And yes, I have to confess, I failed this test because in this situation, God was not the center of my thoughts, nor was our Thursday prayer walking something that I wanted to part in.

But, its okay, God's grace is sufficient and covers me.

Im honestly not fully over this situation, nor am I filled with an abundance of joy. But all will be okay. Press on, move forward, and keep my eyes on Christ...=D