Fearless

Why are you fearful, O you of little faith? 

- Matthew 8:26

Chapter 3 starts off describing a boy and his outgoing, do it all personality; followed by a downward spiral of addiction to alcohol for 4 decades; to the last two years of his life where he found some inner resolve to mend his life, family, and marriage.

Awaking at 4 a.m. with chest pains, he was quickly rushed to the hospital on an ambulance and his family planned to meet him there.

But he wasn't able to make it to the hospital... 

He was gone.

But in the midst of taking his last breathes, he found inner strength to relay one final message...

"His hand was resting on the top of his thigh with the two center fingers folded in and the thumb extended, the universal sign-language symbol for "I love you."'

I read this a few days ago, in a book I'm reading by Max Lucado about life. After coming across this part of the book I could relate to the author in how he described himself trying to imagine what his brother must have felt in those last moments of his life. 

"I've tried to envision the final moments of my brother's earthly life: racing down a Texas highway in an ambulance through an inky night, paramedics buzzing around him, his heart weakening within him. Struggling for each breath, at some point he realized only a few remained. But rather than panic, he quarried some courage.

Perhaps you could use some. An ambulance isn't the only ride that demands valor. You may be not be down to your final heartbeat, but you may be down to your last paycheck, solution, or thimble of faith. Each sunrise seems to bring fresh reasons for fear."

Max Lucado then goes on to write about fear and the different, but many situations in which fear takes hold and occupies the heart. How it is oversized, rude, and unwilling to share the heart with happiness. And how it makes so much noise and takes up so much room, but it does little good. How fear corrodes our confidence in God's goodness.

Then he goes on to talk about FAITH, COURAGE and how life would be if our default reaction to threats were FAITH! And how it is possible to have faith when we place our trust, hope, and dependence on Christ. Look at Jesus' track record! When fear takes over faith it creates a spiritual amnesia, dulls our memory, and causes us to forget what Jesus has done and how good God is. 

Don't let fear shape our lives and have safety become our God. "The worship of safety emasculates greatness."

Promises of God and truths to live by:

So don't be afraid. You are worth much more than many sparrows. - Matthew 10:31 NCV

Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven. - Matthew 9:2 NASB

I tell you not to worry about everyday life-- whether you have enough. - Matthew 6:25 NLT

Take courage. I am here! - Matthew 14:27 NLT

Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. - Matthew 10:28

Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. - Luke 12:32

Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me... I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. - John 14:1, 3 NLT

Don't be troubled or afraid. - John 14:27

"Why are you frightened?" he asked. "Why are your hearts filled with doubt?' - Luke 24:38

Jesus came and touched them and said, "Arise, and do not be afraid" - Matthew 17:7

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Jesus doesn't want us to live in a state of fear and neither do we! "Fear may fill our world, but it doesn't have to fill our hearts. It will always knock on our door. Just don't invite it in for dinner, and for heaven's sake don't offer it a bed for the night. Let's embolden our hearts with a select number of Jesus' "do not fear" statements. The promise of Christ and the contention of this book are simple:

We can fear less tomorrow than we do today."

I'm still sore from my accident and I don't know the long terms affects, I need to find a lawyer from Texas for my case, and because of this situation that is still pending on many levels, I feel like all other things are on pause. Moving into my home, getting my license to find a job, getting a car, community, etc...

But I'm realizing more and more that life does throw some curve balls. It stinks at the time and I call sulk and cry for a bit cus its okay. But I can't let it take the center of my heart and allow fear to take root, because God is in control of all things for he is sovereign so I need to have FAITH!

So thank you God for my family. Thank you for my moms car that she sometimes shares... LOL! Thank you for my health. Thank you that you are providing open doors and windows to slowly get my "situations" under control. Thank you for the amazing friends you have provided in the past for me to meet and currently know. 

And most importantly Thank You for your promises about being fearless that are true yesterday, today, and forever!

daddy's little girl ( :

Christmas time... i loved presents : P

of course we knew how to eat!! : D

he could always carry both of us... DUH he was the strongest man in the world ( :

My daddy has been working out in our yard ever since we moved to this new location about 4 years ago. And when I say yard I mean 5 acres of land in the middle of nowhere where we have HUGE pine trees, etc. His goal is to clear out these HUGE trees so that eventually my parents can move out of their tiny little place and into their settlement home that they will eventually design and build.

So anyways, when I would come home for break I would always go out for one of those days to help my dad (and I couldnt do much other than gather little things, etc.), but I would spend time with him each visit and make it a point to help him with what I could do.
Since, I am now living with my parents I am able to go out more often.

Yesterday, I came home early, grabbed a bite to eat and went out to help him clear some land. In those moments my dad and I always share things here and there and its our father, daughter time where I connect and just get to know my daddy. For some reason yesterday as I saw my father working I was reminded of how blessed I am to have such a loving father. And I began reflecting back on my childhood days when I thought the world of him.

He was my hero and nothing could stop him. He was the smartest, strongest, hard working, loving guy in the world. 

Smartest because: I asked why for everything and in my mind he always had the right answer!

Strongest because: He could lift me up with one arm (and I asked for this quite frequently to be amazed by his strength : ). I remember my father being away every now and again for work. In first grade he was away for at least a year for the dessert storm and I remember the difference in the atmosphere of my home with and without my father's presence. His presence alone assured me that nothing bad could ever happen!

Hard working because: He was in the army and he trained hard! He would help out at home and he always had time to make me pancake, egg, and bacon breakfasts upon request and on weekend mornings.
.
Loving because: I always knew my father loved me, esp when he would give/buy me sweets when my mom was so strict and wouldnt. Or when he'd tell me to wear extra clothes when I was going to be spanked if I got anything lower than an A+. LOL! Just kidding! Whether we played board games, he helped me with my studies, the way he served me, his big daddy hugs, or just the way my father looked at me. I just knew my daddy would do anything for me because I KNEW he loved me based on the consistent ways he showed and affirmed this love.

So yes, yesterday I started to think back on the way I saw my father as a little girl and I began to calculate the years. I've known my father for 28 years nows. He had me when he was 23 and so I've know him for more than half of his life. We talked about time flying by, his marriage to my mom, his purpose in life, when I was a little girl, etc.

I'm still daddy's little girl. Of course I'm much older and I see ALL his flaws... ahahaha. But yesterday, I was reminded of why I love my daddy and why as a little girl I thought the world of my father. : D.

 <3

INCEPTION.

It's been 7 years since I lived in Washington state and after visiting twice a year for the past 7 years, I felt that same, old, "visitor" feeling when I arrived back at "home" on July 30th.

The first week everything was surreal for me. I knew in my mind that I moved back to Washington and this wasn't just a visit, but because I'm a creature of habit and I had been moving from apt to apt every year for the past 7 years, and I have been traveling to Washington twice a year for the past 7 years, I couldn't shake this feeling in my heart that THIS was just another visit.

It wasn't until a couple of days ago that it hit me that I had MOVED here. 

This isn't just a visit... this is for good.

I know it'll take much time to transition into a new location, but with everything being so new I've been longing more for what I know to be comfortable. I KNOW I'm a creature of comfort. Don't get me wrong, my friends can vouch for me in saying that I LOVE adventures and new experiences, but I also enjoy the familiar especially when it comes to people/friends/community/family. I love the comfort of really knowing a person and them knowing me, so the fact that I have to begin anew with this area in my life affects me the most.

Sadly, as I read back on this post, I see that I'm not that excited to be back in this state, but as one friend once said to me after a traumatic car accident. I'm resilient... and yes I am... but sometimes, it's just nice to lean, depend, and not have to be so resilient. And unfortunately, because I'm an adult and have much to take care of, that time is NOT now. Boo~ LOL!

Inception- according to dictionary.com, its a noun and means beginning, start, and commencement. 

And that's exactly what this chapter in my life is. It's a commencement for all that I have gone through in my past and as I move forward, may I apply all that I have learned to the beginning of new experiences and the start of my new life.

So I guess to be optimistic its Cheers to Inceptions!