...to be

I'm not what I ought to be;

Not what I want to be;

Not what I am going to be;

But I'm thankful I am not what I used to be.

As a perfectionist this quote really stood out to me because more than the end goal of always doing or being the right person... it's about the process of changing, growing, transforming, TRYING to be that person that I believe God has created me to be. And each day is a process...

This quote is by John Wooden, a famous basketball player and coach. I started reading this book because while watching the MI/OH football game this past Saturday (where we WON... woot woot~ GO BLUE! = )... my friend told me about how he shook Mr. Wooden's hand and how it was one of the best experiences of his life! I laughed at him, but then he told me a little about Mr. Wooden's life and of course he chose to tell me about the romantic side of this coach.

Mr. Wooden passed away in 2010 and his wife passed 12 years earlier. Mr. Wooden hand wrote a letter to his wife EVERY DAY for the 12 years that his wife had been gone. WOW! YEP! I was hooked to read and hear more about this guy after that story... LOL! That is dedication, commitment, true LOVE! Dannngggg yo... he didn't just want to be with a woman... he wanted to be with HIS woman!! WOW... my heart is a melting... bahahahaha~

As I read this book I see that he strives to demonstrate the kind of character, leadership, and commitment not just to his wife, but to the people around him and how this was passed down from his own father.

So yes... I'm reading one of his books on the lessons of leadership and leaders and its been quite good, and this is one of the quotes that stood out to me.

But I'm thankful I am not what I used to be.

WORD!

Growing ↑

I would say that I've never disliked getting older. Every stage of life has something exciting and new to experience and getting older has sooooOOOo many perks. It's also inevitable, so what can u do but enjoy right? Or maybe I say this now cus I haven't hit 60? :p

I dunno~

But yes, with the recent events that have occurred, I've realized three things:

1. I've been experiencing a lot of 1st timers lately and been reminded more and more that life still has so many more first time experiences that are to come. Of course I know some like getting married, having kiddos, aging in general... ahahaha, but many more that I cannot necessarily expect or try and plan out. 

2. I've always been a feeler. I go by what I feel, what my heart tells me is RIghT? : p but lately as I have been trying to make some decisions, I haven't been able to make them just on my feelings... O_ o Otherwise my life would currently look a little different. I have to think about them, how it may possibly play out, the repercussions of my actions, what I believe God is wanting me to do, how other people may feel, etc. And man oh man... with some of these choices... It's been and still is a BATTLE... battle within... You have NO IDEA... gerrrrrrr~

3. For the first time... I'm like... man... I liked being that kid that didn't have to think so much... ahahaha... the jenny that just went with her heart... *sigh.
*on a side note... lol... because I'm late  bloomer with some things... I think I used to live like this until more recently... ahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaaaaaa~

Just my recent thoughts.

Something MORE.

Below are three quotes that I took from another page.

Have you ever felt that there must be something more to life? Have you sensed an emptiness within your soul? The truth is that money, possessions, prestige, power and people cannot fulfill that deeper hunger we all have.

C.S. Lewis wrote, “Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing.”

Two weeks ago, the pastor preached on the human soul and our desires. He gave scenarios about people trying to find security/satisfaction/love/acceptance in their looks, success, wealth, power, people, and how in the end we are never fully satisfied. Of course momentarily, temporary satisfaction will be there... but thats the issue... it doesn't last, but we have this longing and desire for it too.

Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher and mathematician, wrote, “Within each human being there is a God-shaped void.”

Hmm...

The 4 C's

Christian, Character, Conflict-resolution, Chemistry.

I may as well add to the C's and say that my transition to WA has been CRAZY! lol.
Yes I'm corny = D.

But yes, as I have been transitioning into this new location, I've been thinking and praying about so many different things in my life. And at this point because its only been about one month since I arrived back from my last trip to Cali, things are slowly settling down, but nothing is concrete.

I haven't found a job, still no car, still no community, no apt up north, car accident situation is still messy, my neck is still healing, no man (lol, have to say this cus of all the pressure around me : ), still searching for my future direction. But for sure slowly, doors are beginning to open in all of these areas and I'm thankful for this season in my life.

I say I'm thankful because I am most of the time, but of course transitions in general take time (I have a good friend to remind me of this when I get anxious and impatient).

So~ the 4C's. I'm at the age where my moms friends/relatives ask why I'm not dating, how people tell me that I NEED to get married, where conversations in general lead to dating questions. And I'm also realizing as a single, female, that I'm not in high school where I can be buddy, buddy with a guy, but that sometimes, there's MORE.

It's an interesting stage of life for me and yeah... I'm wrestling with the 4 C's. When I talk to some Christians they are open to dating people who are open to the faith, but who aren't in a relationship with God YET and others who are not open at all; does the person have good character, are they trustworthy, do they say what they mean, are they mature enough to handle a relationship where it isn't always butterflies; can the two communicate well especially during conflicts because people communicate differently; and then of course do the two have good chemistry.

Chemistry... i actually tried reading articles about this because it fascinates me... what makes two people have chemistry? is it their pheromones? is it their humor? is it their values? looks? Some people naturally have good chemistry... but why? : D

I still believe more than anything else, that relationships are amazing, but that in the end commitment is true love and it's what keeps a relationship going. Commitment to love the other person, serve them, cherish them, be selfless, work through the tough times... cus they will come = ).

I heard this quote the other week: I'm not saying it'll be perfect... I'm saying you're the person I want to spend the rest of my life WITH! AWESOME no?!? ( =

<3